V Day 2012

Valentine’s Day, a day to celebrate love. ..........To love and be loved in a healthy honest relationship where two people have no agendas and are the best of friends and lovers is awesome. As human beings we all desire that. Sadly,in today's world that almost appears surreal.

On the lighter side,it's funny how men never seem to pick up on subtle hints.  They are going to look for the quickest and easiest way to express their feelings, i.e. cards, flowers, chocolates, dinner out.  Possibly because this is  what they believe are tried and true...and also maybe because they rarely express emotions on a day-to-day basis so this seems like an extraordinary act to them.Similarly it's funny how  women are looking for the deeper meaning, deeper connection in EVERYTHING.Why can't women simply TELL men --honestly they will appreciate that we gave them some direction !

 I have come to realize that it’s too easy to get stuck in a mold and too hard to just ‘let go’ sometimes.  To really love life one needs to   become better at “failing” - or rather, simply letting the thoughts flow naturally without rationalizing them. 

On a side note, I can’t wait to rejuvenate over the weekend. I’m dreaming of sleeping in, meditating,  go home early and snuggle up on the couch watching a lovely romantic flick(----moonstruck, the princess bride, stardust and the likes).........ahhhhhh if only i could love myself without guilt.


Grow old with me!  The best is yet to be.  ~Robert Browning

Birthday

Yes it's that time of the year...a day that had changed my life and my outlook forever.....the birthday of my darling child Diya.
Boy , she is all of 7 today....and like every year looking forward eagerly to her b'day party celebrations in the evening.....
We have been planning for this for so long.....the dress had been bought and tried on many times...matching accessories and shoes......the return gifts ....the disposables......the decorations....all were ready the week before......
 but the panic attacks were not to go.....the design of the Bday cake was just not coming out right....and after much searches one could get finalized just two days before the bday:).......and we are keeping our fingers crossed as the final outcome of the Barbie design.....

 Yesterday  morning I had spent gift wrapping the return gifts with the help of my colleagues Kalyan and Ishita (in college , on the sly)....at night we had the customary midnight cake cutting (which was made more exciting by the cuckoo clock striking twelve)and opening of gifts......by the time we wrapped up it was 2.30...

This morning there was the PTM at Diya's school at 8 in the morning...( what an unearthly hour for a meeting)---but the good news is that she had scored A1s in her summative assessments....and earned herself lots of brownie points(to get translated into story books).....

As I am typing this there are just 4 more hrs left for me to go home and do the final decor touches and get the food ready before the guests start coming in .....

It's been 7 years now that i have been doing this.....and i don't know why i do it...i don't know why i love doing it...and i don't know why i still have the butterflies in the stomach feel.....and i don't know if i would feel sad if a few years down the line Diya chooses to hang out with a select few friends on her Bday....

But till then--i shall continue to enjoy and wreck my nerves at the same time over planning the perfect party for my little princess:)

Many Happy Returns of the Day My Princess---7 loud claps and one for good luck(as she taught me was the right way to wish)...mmuuaahhh

The Morning After..........(Getting the PhD)

Finally the wait is over...after one and a half hours of close defense and about 45 mins of open defense I got the handshake affirming that I am now officially welcome to the club of PhDs.

For the next few hours my mind was simply foggy....the euphoria that I had imagined and recreated in my mind time and again of this day was nowhere...infact all I felt was like a complete washout and  a throbbing pain in my head......

It was only when I drove back home to be greeted by an euphoric family that the sensation sank in....my daughter(god bless her) jumped onto my lap singing congratulations doctor mummy( I am sure the tutors were the grandparents) and my parents hugged me with beaming smiles and hubby dear took us on a surprise dine in at the Marriott................that the true appreciation and worth of the achievement started making sense...........

to the world I maybe just another PhD.....but to my family I was a star.........and the happiness that i felt in my heart  was the biggest reward....

???

Relationships

 One thought leads to another....

When I  go through my photo album and look at all of the old pictures of my family and friends, I realize that the person that I was then, is not who I am now.And I realized that the same would be true for the people around me. Everyone is changing and so are we.

So why do we crib that " you are not the same as you used to be?" 

True- no relationship can stay perfect; we have to work towards it.

The small things in a relationship matter the most and one needs to be careful about them. Relationships grow and change with time and we all need to cope with it.

Relationships can be compared to sand, since the moment you hold it tightly in your palm, it starts slipping off, and if you hold it loosely, it remains. In a relationship too, you need to learn to hold it loosely and not impose things on your better half. In fact, giving each other enough space is the key for a successful relationship.

But again if while letting loose the sand you are not paying attention , it can drift away and fall all apart.....what usually happens in our urban busy lifestyle ...It just makes it impossible for people to spare time for each other.

Making a relationship work requires investing quality time.....

Trust and space are also an integral part of a healthy relationship and so is respect for each other as individuals and support to each others' dreams.And all this can happen only when there is an open and healthy communication.

So choose your grip carefully......depending on the REASON!

For season or for reason???????

As I turned 33 yesterday.....there were the familiar greeting calls ....some true from the heart and some mere formalities......and that  made me wonder at the depth of relationships or acquaintances that we make along the journey of our life...
There was this famous quote:

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

Looking back, few of the people who I called friend earlier, are not people who I may consider a friend now. 


Relationships  are there to teach us a lesson and to make us stronger.  They can be the best thing in our lifetime.  Yet, it can also hurt like hell when you have to walk away from someone that you love or care strongly about. ( I have learned that from experience.)   


However, it isn't up to us to decide whether people are in our life for a season or a life time.  It is up to us to figure out that REASON and realize that it is not necessary to stay around those who are prohibiting us from growing as a person.

New Year

Yeah it 's that time of the year again...ring out the old, ring in the new and turn another year older...cross yet another milestone.

With my b'day falling close to the new year...I always used to feel very happy and revved up as a child....there was a special zing attached to welcoming the new year and also a new birthday....

But now it's different.....every new year brings a new question.....What's next?......What more challenges are in store? What new hurdles would have to be crossed this year?and a hope to meet with some success in finding that ever elusive work life balance....

Like me and my friend were discussing the other day....nowadays we are stuck with just a new year....whether happy or not elicits the response- no comments! and crossed fingers with a silent prayer that rather than happy let the year just let us get on with life as it is....

Guess I do sound quite pessimistic but can't run away from the truth......and I sincerely hope that others still feel the zing thing in their " happy new year".